The woods is a very symbolic place, with many connotations both positive and negative. It can be a place linked with beauty, peacefulness and new life. But also isolation, hauntings, and loss. Three words I associate with three very brief and fungible relationships. Leaves grow on trees bright and blossoming, only to fall off in autumn leaving the tree feeling a bit stupid really.
My first boyfriend, used to live near a beautiful wooded area. I used to always beg for us to go out for walks during the winter time where the bare twigs were decorated with white snow and iceicles. Snow I think is very romantic, very pure. I love it when its been untouched. But he’d always rather smoke the grass that walk on it. We never did anything really. He’d always do the opposite of what I liked infact. Smoking the ganja for instance, shotting sambuca another, going out anywhere, chatting up his ex girlfriend, stuff like that.
My second boyfriend, used to call me twig, branchy, chello and weasel. But this isn’t the only association with the woods I have with him. What I really link him to is an inexpliccably beautiful song called Woods By bon Iver. I used to go out for attention seeking but theraputic walks along a river, and confuse myself with what were tears and what was rainfull. I used to get myself into a rather satisfying state, in mind and in appearance: Mud up to my knees, full body shivers from the cold and dripping mascara making me resemble something out of the Crow.
Another failed relationship was with a tree surgeon. Who knew everything and anything about trees but also everything and anything about everything and anything. Very arrogant and cockey, He could talk a forest down. Oh, and he turned out to be a bit of a criminal (oh gawd don't i pick em!). . This was the downfall 'timberrrrrr!!!!!' of the relationship. And most likely the fact I was still playing Bon Iver all the time. Dangerous is it to mix ourself up with another fellow, when your head and heart and still pounding about a previous one.
Oh the woods! It's all very symbolic and personified and yada yada. But the reason I write about more doomed relationships (you may think im just incredibly picky or fussy, but I really do attract the nasties.) But one beautiful Sunday, I got a text from failed relationship number 2, asking if I would like to join him and his friend for a walk up the woods. I said yes, not knowing that an hour later I’d be in the same wooded area with the roots of these lame relationships. Passing around a cigarette, the most physical contact i'd had with any of them for a good while. I was looking round at all of them thinking 'how the hell did I end up in thi horrifically awkward situation?' I live in a small town so of course they were all 'friends.' But never did I picture myself looking around at the trio each of them making meaningless conversation with one another, apart from me. They must have seen the look on my face when I groggily realised who I was in company with . What happened! Relationship no. 2 obviously sensed my uneasiness and kept makigng jokes about my leopoard print flats that I struggled keeping on my feet through the sloshy mud. This isn't the first time i've ruined my shoes over you me lad. I couldn’t say anything to any of them and I don't think it would have made any difference if the gym, top gear or football weren't the chosen topics of conversation. SO I plugged in my ipod and listened to the song that reminded me of the woods yet again.
19 words and a vocoder. And that was all I needed...
I'm up in the woods
I'm down on my mind
I'm building a still
to slow down the time.